Phir Milenge Sangam

I found it really easy to write and reflect on my Tare experience. Even though it was only 18 months ago I was in a completely different place in my life. The time was so much shorter, it felt like a heart beat and it was over, I had a definite path I wanted to tread, and I knew what it was that I was there to do and my achievements were mapped in my mind. At the end of those 3 months I was not ready to leave Sangam and India at all.

This time it is a little different. It is much more bittersweet to be leaving. This time I am more than ready to be going home. This time I am more than ready to start my "Something New", but still it is hard to close on something that has been such a huge part of my life for the past 3 years. 

Sangam is a special place, and I have seen and shared so many life changing experiences with so many people, I have seen so many faces come and go, unsure, wary, nervous to explore our amazing centre in the middle of crazy chaotic India and I have felt many of the feelings that these people have felt too, getting ready for an exploration of a new exotic place and having many exciting adventures, and now it is all ending.

Yesterday I had my 'exit interview' with my good friend, wonderful Sangam Staff member, and big sister Cate, and I realised that even though I am leaving, earlier than planned, and on a little bit of a downbeat note, I need to be thinking what I will be taking away with me from this experience, and I have learned some really valuable lessons and things to be going forward with...

 1. You can't be someone you are not!!  - "One of the hardest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else." Someone will always be prettier, smarter, funnier. But they will never be me!! Never have my life, my loves, my experiences. I don't need to change so people will like me, and I will never change the way I am just to fit in. I don't need to be like anyone else to get a job done. I just need to be the most authentic and happiest version of myself that I can be, and that is what everyone else wants from me too!

2. Face my insecurities and problems head on - This is a real tricky one for me and one I will be continuing to grow with. I know we aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems, that it's ok to ask for help and support and get the input and ideas of other people. No one can do it all by themselves. But as a capable, independent and some would say "stroppy" woman I don't like to need others help, and find it immensely difficult to ask for it. Sangam has taught me that it's ok to stumble and fall, and have others help me up, this is the whole purpose of living, to face problems, learn, adapt and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately moulds us into the person we become.

 3. Everyone makes mistakes -  Oops I did it wrong! So what, learn from it, get over it and move on. Again easier said than done but it is getting easier to accept that I do make mistakes. "Doing something and getting it wrong is ten times more productive than doing nothing".. It's true that you only regret the things you did not do far more than things you did and got wrong. At least I tried and I am learning to embrace the bad with the good, learn from it and do not hold on to the negatives but move forward to the positives and what can be taken from the situation. Everyone makes mistakes, it's not just me!

4. Stop thinking you're not ready  - Does anyone feel 100% ready when an opportunity arises? Most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first. However, there have been so many amazing things I have experienced and achieved because I did it anyway. Those are the things that will keep driving me forward and make me more ready in the future to take on new challenges. Being a little bit scared and a little bit unprepared and ready to 'wing it' can be kind of fun and interesting and has taught me some of the most important lessons along the way.

 5. FREE BEING ME! - Probably one of the most influential things I have been a part of at Sangam! To stop comparing myself to others and be happy and accept all of the wonderful things that I am and that I can do. This above everything else is something that I want to continue in the future for others as well as myself.

6. You can't control everything. Be patient, be flexible and go with the flow - Most people who know me think that I find this easy... WRONG. I like to be in control a lot. But in India and a lot of times therefore in Sangam stuff does not go to plan or on time and Plan B, C, & D are needed but Hey it's all good. I can handle that. People also know how impatient I am... and as Anu Karkare is believed to have said "Patience, lets have patience" is one of my frequently used quotes in my head and out loud these days. And I am finding it does work, mostly.

7. Seeing the beauty of small moments - It really is the little things that can change a bad day into an awesome one. Playing with the children at deep Griha creche, laughing uncontrollably at chai time, watching the sunset, enjoying the chaos of a bus ride, watching the world go by at the river side, or having someone make an effort to say Thank You and appreciate your efforts. Being part of someone's Sangam story no matter how small that part is, can really make the world of difference. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life here I have forgotten this, but I know it is true because after all it is the reason why I came back!

8. Be Grateful -  No matter how good or bad things are each day be thankful for whatever good there is because someone somewhere else is desperately trying to find the good in theirs. Instead of thinking about what I may be missing try thinking about what I have and how lucky I truly am to be me and to have had all the choices, freedom and opportunities that have been given to me.

9. Give myself time  - Some things don't happen straight away. I can't be good at everything the first time I try and some things are not meant to be when you first experience them. But don't give up, keep trying and it will be worth it in the end. Give other people time too. Get to know them, understand them and encourage them and they will surprise and amaze you and make you so proud!

10. Say Yes!! To everything -  This opportunity and so many others wouldn't have happened without that one positive affirmation. You have to grab things with both hands and say Yes. If I wake up with the thought each morning that something wonderful will happen today, it very often does but it always starts with answering a question with YES!

I will dearly miss All of my Sangam Family but I know now is the right time for me to go and find the path for my next adventure and my Something New .... Love you all <3 xxx Max

Smiling Faces and Colours of India

The last few weeks (read 5) have been super Busy!!

I’ve been trying to write a blog post for a while with lots of things that have been really new and different for me both inside and outside of Sangam, but there is so much to say, in order to keep it short, here’s a few of my favourite things I’ve been able to capture on camera with my every improving photography skills :D

We are getting back into the swing of things with events and have been visiting Community Partners which is always always always my favourite thing to do. I have now finally been to Muslim Girl’s Orphanage which I have heard about for such a long time but never been to before.

Its a lovely place, large buildings and green gardens, really welcoming staff, the girls were happy, chatty and followed us around the whole time and the little ones looking very sweet in the pink and white uniforms.

Hopefully we are going to be running various projects with the school now, and if we get a suitable Tare applicant they could get someone for several weeks working with them. It will be a great partner  to do community programme as you just get such a good happy loving vibe from the whole place. They also have a fantastic handicraft shop with beautifully crafted, bags, cushions and other material goods for next to nothing. I helped support them by buying a gorgeous bag and matching cushions. Doing my bit to help promote the work of our partners and all that!

They also had this awesome cockerel who was one of the biggest  I have seen. He was beautiful, look...

New Tare have arrived!! WOOHOOO! It seems like ages since the last groups were here. I’ve missed the community programme and having a group here for a longer length of time. These 12 will only be here 3 weeks but its plenty of time to get to know them, work with them and the community partners in lots of new and different ways.  I took them on our Laxmi Road Cultural Tour. I don’t get to go as often as the Svs but I really enjoy taking groups out in the rickshaws, then through the often chaotic shopping areas finishing the mad experience with a lovely lunch.  I especially enjoy using the camera to capture the real essence of Indian culture, the colours, the materials, architecture, quiet moments between people and the environment around them.
Phule Market is the best stop of the tour with all the fruits, veg and different food stuff sold by all the market vendors, all of the beauty, colour and culture waiting outside in the heart of Pune City.

  So many saris... I did well restraining myself. I didn'y try or buy a single one!

 The gothic carvings and hidden history at the black palace, situated amongst the new banks, shops and busy road in the centre of town.

  

Bangle Alley!

 Phule Fruit & Veg Market - fills all your senses.

  So many types of chillis!!!

1st June - Silent Sunday

http://www.cosmicgirlie.com/silent-sunday/

Neighbourhood Walk

Our local neighbourhood here in Pune is a lovely one. 
As part of our introduction to the area we take guests on a neighbourhood walk to help familarise them with the some of the local people, temples and shops and to try and make them more comfortable walking around in a different environment on their own.
I love this walk, anytime in India you can see amazing stuff, and a lot of it happens right on our door step.
Yesterday I went with Sailee and Dinaz two of our local staff girls who live in Phule Nagar on the neighbourhood walk introducing our six new staff members to where they will be living.

 This is where we start our walk, right outside the gates of Sangam and the first thing we see in the No Parking zone is this lovely lady.

Alandi Road is a busy main road, it has two-five lanes of traffic depending on what time of day, how many cars bikes, lorries, vans and bikes are out there. Crossing it can sometimes be pretty tricky. We now have the convenience of a bridge over Alandi road saving us from the nightmare. But it is a skill everyone should learn. How to safely cross the road in India takes some bravery, committment a little bit of stupidity and then just going for it.

I rather enojoyed the teenage boys hitching a ride on the top of the truck in the above pic. They were waving at me taking their photo. Everyone wants their photo taken in India.

The lovely Sailee and Dinaz on either end of the group tour!

First stop on the walk was to one of the houses on the opposite side of Alandi Road. Padma who is one of our ladies who works in the kitchen (and makes us all awesome food) lives there with her husbands family.

This is Tarabai. Padma's mother in law, and also a former Sangam staff member. She is 84 and her husband is 94. She speaks great english and welcomed us all into her home.  

 It's really good that we get to vist local houses. They are always so wonderfully looked after and the families welcome us so warmly, answering all our random questions and introducing all the family. Tarabai showed us into her kitchen with her huge variety of cooking supplies and utensils and also inside her spice tin. Which smells delicious!

We then walk into the Phule Nagar colony, it is considered a middle class colony and homes around 300 families, many of Sangam's staff live here.

This lady was setting up her vegetable stall on the corner of the road. I liked that her stall was actually a bed frame. Everyone has creative ways to use different things here.

Sailee then let me talk about Ganesh as he is my favourite Hindu God outside his Temple. I love Hindu God stories and there are so many of them. How Ganesh got his elephant head is always a good introduction story to the mysterious ways of the Gods. I also like to ring the bell hanging in the entrance to let the Gods know I am there.

We walk a little further up the road and there is the Mosque and Dinaz tells us about the muslim prayer times and that they face west when praying towards Meccah, and then backing directly onto the Mosque is a Church, and then across the road another temple this one dedicated to the Godess Durga, and further down the road is a Buddhist Temple. It always amazes me that in this one small neighbourhood so many religions live side by side with no issues. UK and other countries should all visit Phule Nagar to see how easy it is to love your neighbour no matter who they are. Everyone is the same on the inside! 

We walk further and wave to Sailee's mum who is outside their house, she asks if we are here for a visit but not today. We just point out which house so the SVs know for future visits.

We walk past the corporation school, which is closed for the summer holidays, noticeable by the amount of kids playing out in the streets. Running around playng cricket, on bikes and chasing each other with pots of water in the heat.

We show the Svs our Doctors office, hopefully no one needs to go there anytime soon.

Stop at the rickshaw stand and wave to some of the familiar faces there and then it's time to actually cross back over that busy road to get back to Sangam.

Miraculously the cars and bikes, lorries, buses and every other mode of transport seem to melt away and we stroll across quite casually, arriving at the Datta temple one of the last stops on the tour where a wedding has been held recently and everyone is clearing away all the decorations and mess from inside.

Sailee then leads us along to the entrance of Indira Nagar, which is the slum community that is right next door to Sangam which was formed in the 1980's as an authorised to clear the streets of Pune for the arrival of the Queen. Totally sounds like something the British would expect right?

It is a legal slum meaning the government owns the land, and permits people to live there, and the houses belong to the occupants. It is a middle to lower class colony and has the same amount of land as sangam which is 7 acres, yet houses over 10,000 people in this small space, which I find incredible. Again many of the Sangam staff live here and the mosque we hear the regular call to prayer to is very close to the entrance. You can see the minaret in the picture below.

 Then it was back to Sangam for dinner. Arriving at the Sangam front gates I wanted to take a photo to capture the beautful colours of the trees that are flowering. The camera didn't quite do them justice but the orange and pinks are lovely!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I have been unbearablely excited for about 2 weeks now. Finally I am at the height of being able to contain myself because I'm flying home from my Indian home to my actual home back in England for 10 days and there will be lots of great things happening.

I don't ever get homesick, I always embrace my travel adventures wholeheartedly and when it is time to come home get pretty upset about it.

But I am here for a year, and no one is more surprised than me that I actually miss home. It is super hot here right now and having a British Spring/Summer even with grey clouds and rain will be a welcome break for sure.

I am a carnivore through and through. I hit the rice wall 2 months back and struggle to eat it now and I really really really miss home food!!! I want a roast dinner, some Bellini's action, sausages, bacon & cheese oatcakes, chilli beef, yorkshire puddings and tonnes of gravy, even a ham sandwich is impossible to replicate in India, even good bread is not the same!! I will be bringing my suitcase back to Sangam stuffed with food supplies to help my cravings when I am away. It really is the small things that you miss.

Major exciting things when I get home are seeing my Godson Luigi. He was born in September 2013 and I was there for the first 3 months of his life. He is now 7 1/2 months old and is doing so much on his own, recently started crawling and eating solid foods and I cannot wait to have some cuddles with him and give him the cute gifts I bought for him.

I also can't wait to meet up with all my friends who have already arranged to see me!! My friends mean the world to me and it means even more that in the short time I am home so many of them want to catch up with me and hang out so I cannot wait to see all you guys and hear all the news and what's been happening while I've been away!

Next weekend I will be going with my family for the first family wedding for a very long time, and the first that I have been to as an adult for a close family member, which is my lovely cousin Gem and her fiance which will be a very special day, getting to spend time with everyone to celebrate their day and if I am feeling brave I plan to wear the Indian dress that took me such a long to find especially for this occasion.

And the Finale,
 


the big moment I have been waiting for!! Saturday is the BIG day for me as well as Becky (Didi) and my friend Rachael as we are going to the long awaited McBusted concert. Everyone knows I am a huge Busted and McFly fan. When we heard at the end of last year that Busted have reformed and joined with McFly to form a supergroup and I knew no matter where I was in the world I would not be missing this concert for anything or anyone. I have literally been waiting 10 years for this to happen and I think on Saturday itself all three of us will be jibbering wrecks, I will not able to control my teenage inner fangirl any longer and I will very probably cry with joy when they actually perform! It will be AMAZING and is totally worth the 8 hour flight, plus 3 hour layover in Abu Dhabi, plus 4 hour car ride to Mumbai!!!!!!


Photos of all the fun will be coming soon!

Saying Goodbye

For those of you who have not been to Sangam, I will let you into a secret. Sangam has a very important tradition when it comes to saying Goodbye. For those yet to come (hint, hint VISIT ME!!) I will not spoil it.

However, if your visit to Sangam has had any sort of affect on you then the finale when we send you on your way seals the deal – and it can be quite emotional. Why am I telling you this? Well let me go back to the last post I wrote when I updated what I have been up to, which was around a month ago…

My last photo post  was of the Rickshaws which we arranged as a Surprise for the Tare and we all had such a great afternoon learning to drive with Deepak and Raju our favourite Rickshaw drivers up and down the drive within Sangam’s grounds.

 Rickshaw racing

 Deepak and Raju are literally the best and most fun drivers around!

 Sitting like the Indian drivers do - no need for pedals!

This was the end of March and the start of the closing few days for the Tare both the March group and the 12 week group.

 My whole group of Tare (plus Fer, Laura and Chenda)

Honestly, I feel so privileged to have been part of each of their experiences here. Seeing them have such a great time together, the friendships that have been made and I know will have such a lasting effect on them all, then hearing about all the incredible things they were able to achieve at site each day. Each and every little triumph made me smile deep inside because it brought back so many feelings from my experience last year and I know they shared the same joy through being a Tare.

And then they all left…  they all did these amazing presentations to sum up their time here, it made me feel pretty emotional about it all, and then one by one they all went on their way, on the next step of their adventures, travelling around India, Thailand, Europe and then home.  The ‘Sangam Goodbye’ was rolled out one after another, and after lots of hugs I did find myself tearing up when these guys left.

It was so strange and quiet without them. Especially as my days have revolved around their activities, and making sure everyone was happy and healthy here. It felt a bit like my nest was empty – the birds had flown away.

Then it was April, and Sangam was very empty and too  quiet. But we had some fun days planned.

Every year we take the local staff on a “picnic” which is just a Sangam family outing. We decided to stay local, we opted for a movie, lunch and bowling at one of the big local malls. It may not sound like anything out of the ordinary for you lot at home but quite a few of our staff live in the immediate local neighbourhoods. They definitely have good jobs working for Sangam but they are by no means rich. So an all expenses day out to the Mall is a fantastic day for everyone. Highlights for me were watching the ladies riding the escalators in the Mall like it was the Oblivion at Alton Towers. They deserved the round of applause we gave them when they managed to get to the top! It was also really lovely to see the ladies reclining in the VIP seats at the cinema. The film was so shockingly bad it was funny, but everyone seemed to enjoy it none the less. Then we had lunch, followed by bowling. Explaining bowling shoes was interesting, luckily we all bought spare socks, and then the whole principle of throwing this huge ball down a lane to knock down 10 pins, but after a few practices everyone was loving it and we had some great team spirit going – no accidents, and even a whole heap of strikes.

 Me, Rach Shuba and Sangeeta at bowling

 The whole Sangam Family

 

Later that same week we had a big clear out at and got together all the tons of stuff that guests leave with us because they’ve bought too many Indian clothes and souvenirs, and had our annual Community Bazaar. It’s basically a jumble sale and raises money for Sangam – everything was 10 rupees, our local staff got VIP shopping privileges first for about an hour, then the rest of the day was the mayhem of the rest of the community coming into Sangam and buying all our junk. Clothes, shoes, kitchen supplies, toiletries, toys, stationery, furniture, doors, bedding. Literally anything and everything was for sale. It was cool to meet so many of our local staff’s families and neighbours and to see how much they bought! We sold a lot of stuff. Since then we have noticed a few of our things being worn by people when we’ve been out in the neighbourhood which is really cool.

 This is what the Community Bazaar looked like!! Mayhem

Then it was time for lots of evaluating and planning for the staff for all the events coming up next season, and figuring out what worked and what we can improve.

And somehow it was time for GOA!!! Which happily coincided with my 29^th birthday.  We had an awesome sleeper train journey down to Goa, 12 hours made shorter by lots of food, wine and singing every song in the songbook accompanied by Jen on her Guitarelele and making friends with other travelers.

We chilled, on the beach, at the pool, in the bar – spent a fantastic evening at the infamous Night Market on the evening of my birthday and then it was back to sweltering Pune. It was a wonderful break and I’m sure I’ll be going back to Goa again before I leave India, it’s the perfect place to unwind.

Then the sad sad day arrived when it was time to say goodbye to some people that I had made really close friends with. We had already had to say goodbye to my darling friend Chenda,  who was such a shining light of happiness and friendship to everyone but then Fer and Laura were  leaving on the same day.

 When you spend so much time with people every day you start to take their presence for granted, but when these guys left and we had to do “Sangam Goodbye” I couldn’t do it. It was like a massive loss for me, for sure one of the best friends I have in my life was going away and she lived in a country a long long way away. I was totally gutted.

 Love these ladies - Fer and Chenda - best friends and work mates you could want!  I miss you x

I asked the long term staff later that day "how do you get used to saying goodbye to good friends over and over again?" It’s really kind of heartbreaking, living and working here we share so much together. All the highs, lows, happy, funny, amazing things, and then there they are there with kinds words, hugs, chocolate and stories just when you need them most to pick you up after a bad day. You kind of have to accept that saying goodbye is part of the experience and how new things and new people come to be. But it doesn't stop me missing them all like crazy!!

Now we have time to get over all these goodbyes. The last of us still standing will remain and although people keep coming and going we wont be having a “Sangam Goodbye” for a quite a while, which is good because I need time for my heart to get over everyone that has already had to leave.