I found it really easy to
write and reflect on my Tare experience. Even though it was only 18 months ago
I was in a completely different place in my life. The time was so much shorter,
it felt like a heart beat and it was over, I had a definite path I wanted to
tread, and I knew what it was that I was there to do and my achievements were
mapped in my mind. At the end of those 3 months I was not ready to leave Sangam
and India at all.
This time it is a little
different. It is much more bittersweet to be leaving. This time I am more than
ready to be going home. This time I am more than ready to start my
"Something New", but still it is hard to close on something that has
been such a huge part of my life for the past 3 years.
Sangam is a special place,
and I have seen and shared so many life changing experiences with so many
people, I have seen so many faces come and go, unsure, wary, nervous to explore
our amazing centre in the middle of crazy chaotic India and I have felt many of
the feelings that these people have felt too, getting ready for an exploration
of a new exotic place and having many exciting adventures, and now it is all
ending.
Yesterday I had my 'exit
interview' with my good friend, wonderful Sangam Staff member, and big sister
Cate, and I realised that even though I am leaving, earlier than planned, and
on a little bit of a downbeat note, I need to be thinking what I will be taking
away with me from this experience, and I have learned some really valuable
lessons and things to be going forward with...
1. You can't be
someone you are not!! - "One of the hardest challenges in life
is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone
else." Someone will always be prettier, smarter, funnier. But they will
never be me!! Never have my life, my loves, my experiences. I don't need to
change so people will like me, and I will never change the way I am just to fit
in. I don't need to be like anyone else to get a job done. I just need to be
the most authentic and happiest version of myself that I can be, and that is
what everyone else wants from me too!
2. Face my insecurities
and problems head on - This is a real tricky one for me and one I will be
continuing to grow with. I know we aren't supposed to be able to instantly
solve problems, that it's ok to ask for help and support and get the input and
ideas of other people. No one can do it all by themselves. But as a capable,
independent and some would say "stroppy" woman I don't like to need
others help, and find it immensely difficult to ask for it. Sangam has taught
me that it's ok to stumble and fall, and have others help me up, this is the
whole purpose of living, to face problems, learn, adapt and solve them over the
course of time. This is what ultimately moulds us into the person we become.
3. Everyone makes mistakes
- Oops I did it wrong! So what, learn from it, get over it and move on.
Again easier said than done but it is getting easier to accept that I do make
mistakes. "Doing something and getting it wrong is ten times more
productive than doing nothing".. It's true that you only regret the things
you did not do far more than things you did and got wrong. At least I tried and
I am learning to embrace the bad with the good, learn from it and do not hold
on to the negatives but move forward to the positives and what can be taken
from the situation. Everyone makes mistakes, it's not just me!
4. Stop thinking you're
not ready -
Does anyone feel 100% ready when an opportunity arises? Most great
opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we
won't feel totally comfortable at first. However, there have been so many
amazing things I have experienced and achieved because I did it anyway. Those
are the things that will keep driving me forward and make me more ready in the
future to take on new challenges. Being a little bit scared and a little bit
unprepared and ready to 'wing it' can be kind of fun and interesting and has
taught me some of the most important lessons along the way.
5. FREE BEING ME!
- Probably one of the most influential things I have been a part of at Sangam!
To stop comparing myself to others and be happy and accept all of the wonderful
things that I am and that I can do. This above everything else is something
that I want to continue in the future for others as well as myself.
6. You can't control
everything. Be patient, be flexible and go with the flow - Most people who know me think
that I find this easy... WRONG. I like to be in control a lot. But in India and
a lot of times therefore in Sangam stuff does not go to plan or on time and
Plan B, C, & D are needed but Hey it's all good. I can handle that. People
also know how impatient I am... and as Anu Karkare is believed to have said
"Patience, lets have patience" is one of my frequently used quotes in
my head and out loud these days. And I am finding it does work, mostly.
7. Seeing the beauty of
small moments - It
really is the little things that can change a bad day into an awesome one.
Playing with the children at deep Griha creche, laughing uncontrollably at chai
time, watching the sunset, enjoying the chaos of a bus ride, watching the world
go by at the river side, or having someone make an effort to say Thank You and
appreciate your efforts. Being part of someone's Sangam story no matter how small
that part is, can really make the world of difference. Sometimes in the hustle
and bustle of life here I have forgotten this, but I know it is true because
after all it is the reason why I came back!
8. Be Grateful - No matter how good or bad
things are each day be thankful for whatever good there is because someone
somewhere else is desperately trying to find the good in theirs. Instead of
thinking about what I may be missing try thinking about what I have and how
lucky I truly am to be me and to have had all the choices, freedom and
opportunities that have been given to me.
9. Give myself time - Some things don't happen
straight away. I can't be good at everything the first time I try and some
things are not meant to be when you first experience them. But don't give up,
keep trying and it will be worth it in the end. Give other people time too. Get
to know them, understand them and encourage them and they will surprise and
amaze you and make you so proud!
10. Say Yes!! To
everything - This opportunity and so many others wouldn't have
happened without that one positive affirmation. You have to grab things with
both hands and say Yes. If I wake up with the thought each morning that
something wonderful will happen today, it very often does but it always starts
with answering a question with YES!
