I'm turning 30 this year. Which actually doesn't feel like a big deal because my state of mind and level of happiness is at an all time high. I am extremely content with myself and what I have achieved and I have also come to embrace the ways I am different to others and that I do the things that I want to do.
As a 16 year old, an awkward, shy teenager I don't think I could have imagined my life now and how I got to where I am, not in a million years. Not because it's crazily out there and different, I'm not an astronaut or a Nobel prize winner but the things that I have been able to challenge myself with and overcome would have scared the shit out of my teenage self. With that in mind here is a letter to that younger me.
Dear Max,
I know you will like the idea of this letter, a 'window of opportunity' if you will from a future self, even if you don't believe or listen to anything I write here, know that I have thought about you and what I want to say. You are, and always will be a little bit cynical and only believe things when you have absolute certainty. That's ok. If you can trust anyone in this world, you can trust me.
I am not going to tell you what happens and spoil the surprise and the decisions you get to make.
I just want to give a bit of encouragement and belief in yourself.
Firstly, friends. From high school, college and beyond. The friends you have now are not the be all and end all. You already know that you don't really fit into the group mold that they want you to fill so don't keep trying. You will make and keep the friends that are important and what makes them so is that they are there for you, as well as you being there for them. No judgement. You feel your true self and even through long absences and great distance your friendship remains. Not all your teenage friendship will make it here. It's ok, in fact you don't even miss them.
Love and stuff is incredibly scary. How do you tell someone you like them? How could they even like you? Do they even know you exist? How do you know you love someone?Yes I clearly remember all these fears, they don't go away even when you get older.
It will take a while for you to figure it all out, so don't feel like you need to be doing it all now! You really really don't. Do things at your own pace and don't pretend otherwise. You will meet some very interesting and attractive people and they will all be good and bad for you in equal measure and make you so incredibly happy and sad at the same time. Don't worry. Don't be afraid to feel the feelings and to do it all anyway. You learn as much about yourself as you do about them.
Being with boys gets easier. You will have lots of friends of both sexes and you will have people you connect with in special ways. Love people with all your heart, don't be afraid to get it broken. Hugging will become a thing you do and kissing and all the other good stuff too, and someone special will come along and fix the broken heart and help you put it all back together.
I am here on the other side and I am telling you it is all worth doing.
I will tell you one secret. You will encounter one person who calls you Maxxy. This person is important. But you will know that anyway. Forget about it for a while and do what you have to do. It all comes good in the end. You can trust me on this one.
One thing I have learned over time is that you need to stop thinking so little of yourself. You are funny, smart, insightful, kind and loyal. Other people see these qualities and so much more. You are a beautiful person inside and out and sometime soon you will see this. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves and it can hold you back in a lot of ways and maybe I wish I could be more confident in this area now as well as then.
Keep being funny, ridiculous and silly and keep looking for new things to try and challenge you. Your creative side is something to be proud of. The more you try the braver you will become and more opportunities will arise for you to say Yes to. This is the most important thing. Be a Yes person. Be positive and you can literally do anything.
Exams won't matter. School and education won't matter, but do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to. It doesn't matter that you keep changing your mind about what you like and what you want to do. You will keep doing that, and I hope we keep doing that for a long time to come.
Most of all be happy. You have so much to look forward to and so many plans to make, people to have fun with and places to see and explore and its all coming your way very soon.
You will be awesome no matter what you do! lots of love,
Max
As a 16 year old, an awkward, shy teenager I don't think I could have imagined my life now and how I got to where I am, not in a million years. Not because it's crazily out there and different, I'm not an astronaut or a Nobel prize winner but the things that I have been able to challenge myself with and overcome would have scared the shit out of my teenage self. With that in mind here is a letter to that younger me.
Dear Max,
I know you will like the idea of this letter, a 'window of opportunity' if you will from a future self, even if you don't believe or listen to anything I write here, know that I have thought about you and what I want to say. You are, and always will be a little bit cynical and only believe things when you have absolute certainty. That's ok. If you can trust anyone in this world, you can trust me.
I am not going to tell you what happens and spoil the surprise and the decisions you get to make.
I just want to give a bit of encouragement and belief in yourself.
Firstly, friends. From high school, college and beyond. The friends you have now are not the be all and end all. You already know that you don't really fit into the group mold that they want you to fill so don't keep trying. You will make and keep the friends that are important and what makes them so is that they are there for you, as well as you being there for them. No judgement. You feel your true self and even through long absences and great distance your friendship remains. Not all your teenage friendship will make it here. It's ok, in fact you don't even miss them.
Love and stuff is incredibly scary. How do you tell someone you like them? How could they even like you? Do they even know you exist? How do you know you love someone?Yes I clearly remember all these fears, they don't go away even when you get older.
It will take a while for you to figure it all out, so don't feel like you need to be doing it all now! You really really don't. Do things at your own pace and don't pretend otherwise. You will meet some very interesting and attractive people and they will all be good and bad for you in equal measure and make you so incredibly happy and sad at the same time. Don't worry. Don't be afraid to feel the feelings and to do it all anyway. You learn as much about yourself as you do about them.
Being with boys gets easier. You will have lots of friends of both sexes and you will have people you connect with in special ways. Love people with all your heart, don't be afraid to get it broken. Hugging will become a thing you do and kissing and all the other good stuff too, and someone special will come along and fix the broken heart and help you put it all back together.
I am here on the other side and I am telling you it is all worth doing.
I will tell you one secret. You will encounter one person who calls you Maxxy. This person is important. But you will know that anyway. Forget about it for a while and do what you have to do. It all comes good in the end. You can trust me on this one.
One thing I have learned over time is that you need to stop thinking so little of yourself. You are funny, smart, insightful, kind and loyal. Other people see these qualities and so much more. You are a beautiful person inside and out and sometime soon you will see this. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves and it can hold you back in a lot of ways and maybe I wish I could be more confident in this area now as well as then.
Keep being funny, ridiculous and silly and keep looking for new things to try and challenge you. Your creative side is something to be proud of. The more you try the braver you will become and more opportunities will arise for you to say Yes to. This is the most important thing. Be a Yes person. Be positive and you can literally do anything.
Exams won't matter. School and education won't matter, but do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to. It doesn't matter that you keep changing your mind about what you like and what you want to do. You will keep doing that, and I hope we keep doing that for a long time to come.
Most of all be happy. You have so much to look forward to and so many plans to make, people to have fun with and places to see and explore and its all coming your way very soon.
You will be awesome no matter what you do! lots of love,
Max
